A series of unfortunate events.

Spencer posted this on his family's website:
note: My commentary is in PURPLE from when he first recounted the story.
note: I was at the store.

"Today I was so embarrassed. I was home alone with the boys when my advisor, Lynn, dropped by to do a favor (She brought him a book that was ironically titled "Organizational Stress"). Unfortunately, both of the boys were naked with mud and grass all over their bodies (They just came in from playing with the sprinkler in the yard). I was changing henry when she knocked , but Grant showed no shame opening the door in the buck. So I hurried to change Henry’s diaper and Lynn shouted, “Grant has a bloody nose!!!” I came into the kitchen as she was wiping his face while he stood there naked (Apparently, he was fiddling with himself while she was trying to clean up his face). After we got some clothes on both boys we started to do something on the computer. It was way too quiet and I should have known something was wrong. Lynn even sensed it before me. She stood up and asked “Where is Grant?” When she found him, her eyes got really big, “Spencer, is this OK?” I jumped up and looked around the corner. There he was, inside Penny’s kennel with the door closed on all fours drinking from her water bowl like a puppy. That's my boy. (This behavior is new to me!) Then Lynn asked, “Where is Henry?” I found him in the bathroom standing on top of the highest point of the toilet looking to jump. Seriously, how did he get up there? (He pushes the step stool over to the toilet. I think he is trying to reach the toothbrushes. Good boy.) I tried to hurry and finish our little task in the midst of yelling boys and barking dog. As we wrapped things up and started walking for the door, Penny came flying around the corner mummified in 100 yards of hot pink yarn (for my crochet project -- wait until you see it!!) and ran circles around us. (He said she caused the yarn to get tangled in everyone's legs right by the door. As Lynn opened the door to leave, they all attempted to escape so he said a quick "bye" with one pinned between his legs, one in his arms, and one kicked back into the house)Nice. Now that is how you impress your advisor. Luckily, his advisor is the most considerate, accepting, children-loving, kind-hearted women you'd ever meet. But still, she probably wonders, "How long can they keep this up??"

I find myself smiling and laughing out loud to myself when I picture this scene. This SO could have happened to me. Some days are such a circus!!! One day my friend pulled in the drive to find Grant squatting in the lawn mid-poo. I guess we are supposed to just laugh it off. Sorry, babe.

I decided it is time for this disclaimer: Should any person arrive announced or un-announced at the Patterson residence, we are not responsible for physical or psychological damages. We guarantee that your visit WILL include some or all of the following: loud noises, nudity, sticky substances, temper tantrums, safety hazards, questionable parenting techniques, poop, throw-up, nervous breakdowns, or children behaving like dogs. In the event of an accident, go home.